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Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Packing...
Getting ready for NYC. Leave tomorrow at 9:30 at night. I'll blog about my trip after I get back :)
Friday, July 11, 2008
Rose-Colored Waters
Rose-Colored Waters
Originally uploaded by miss_scott
It's not summertime until you see beautiful sunsets every night :)
Coming Up...
I've really gotten excited about this coming up month basically....I pick up my best friend from LAX on Tuesday and then Thursday night we are off to New York City! I will be walking down the streets and trying not to look completely like a tourist- camera clutched in my hand and looking around wildly. When I was little, it was my "favorite city" that I would always love in movies. I would tell people when I graduated high school I wanted to be living in new york, in a loft above a bakery, and go to NYU. That dream kind of crumbled when I got my roots in pretty deep in Ventura. I'm beginning to love and mark in my memory as significant events in my life, are simply when I get to leave my home town.
That being said- it really makes me sad thinking I might not always live in sunny lovely, california. There was nothing more than shocking when I did my first out-of-california trip (at the age of 15, mind you) when I realized not everyone got to experience how nice the weather is and beautiful the towns. Traveling tends to make me feel like I've lived in a little shoe box my whole life, where little by little, peep holes appear.
I think I sound completely lame. But I don't care. I'm excited!
That being said- it really makes me sad thinking I might not always live in sunny lovely, california. There was nothing more than shocking when I did my first out-of-california trip (at the age of 15, mind you) when I realized not everyone got to experience how nice the weather is and beautiful the towns. Traveling tends to make me feel like I've lived in a little shoe box my whole life, where little by little, peep holes appear.
I think I sound completely lame. But I don't care. I'm excited!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Preludes
A journey of self discovery. Seems like every other under-30 year olds are going crazy with it too. Finding a distinct style, personality, way of life or spiritual belief- we are all searching for something. However, we butt heads so much in the process, breaking each-other's hearts, hurting others and ruining friendships. We are hypocrites, who so easily see the problems in others yet have a hard time seeing our own. To being to see the true paths in life, one of the first things we need to get over is our own ego. That "inner warrior" within us that is so persistent in being the right one, or the better one. Because the world that revolves around us is the world we create, or as Shakespeare said, "thinking makes it so." However, us in our ignorance, ignore the possibility of the world at large- millions and millions of, who are too in their own web of lies, beliefs and some truths.
And if society, as a large, is so illusional, why follow any goal that is not from your heart and only your heart? Why conform to the masses when you can "step out of the box" and be the one who they all admire? Those in the spotlight- the ones we set our eyes on, did something different, chose their own path in life to travel. Not saying you need to be something or somebody else, but just- the person who you want to be.
Which will ultimately lead to the ideas of happiness. I am always running towards it, and at times only being able to just grasp it for a second. A promising study concludes that happiness comes from within and not from external forces, and not from trying to either make the universe fit into your life, or your life somehow conforming to the universe's.
The unfortunate thing is, the way the Western society portrays "growing up" (i.e going to college, doing this by-the-book, and that-by-the-book) almost holds us back in certain ways. For trying to be different so much, and be our own people, we all live lives of shocking similarities and share similar fears.
I guess all I can say is I am generally trying my best. But I feel pulled in so many different directions that it's hard to put enough time and effort into just one, to make it count. Or will all this working over time add up and be enough?
And if society, as a large, is so illusional, why follow any goal that is not from your heart and only your heart? Why conform to the masses when you can "step out of the box" and be the one who they all admire? Those in the spotlight- the ones we set our eyes on, did something different, chose their own path in life to travel. Not saying you need to be something or somebody else, but just- the person who you want to be.
Which will ultimately lead to the ideas of happiness. I am always running towards it, and at times only being able to just grasp it for a second. A promising study concludes that happiness comes from within and not from external forces, and not from trying to either make the universe fit into your life, or your life somehow conforming to the universe's.
The unfortunate thing is, the way the Western society portrays "growing up" (i.e going to college, doing this by-the-book, and that-by-the-book) almost holds us back in certain ways. For trying to be different so much, and be our own people, we all live lives of shocking similarities and share similar fears.
I guess all I can say is I am generally trying my best. But I feel pulled in so many different directions that it's hard to put enough time and effort into just one, to make it count. Or will all this working over time add up and be enough?
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Rustic
IMG_3929.JPG
Originally uploaded by miss_scott
I took this photo on a walk through Ojai's beautiful fields. June 2008.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Polaroid Fun
I thought this would be a fun picture to post. This is from my brother's wedding in Santa Barbara.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Random psychobabble
Today I realized I am in a rat race that I don't particularly want to be in.
Imagine Bob, a 17 year old male who was raised to focus on grades so he can grow up and get a good job. He believes that if he gets good grades, he will finally be happy. Bob works hard everyday, spends little time on personal activities and works hard to maintain a 4.0 GPA. He graduates high school with few friends but praise from teachers- he is named class valedictorian, and get's accepted to his favorite college. This is where Bob thinks he will be happy- but he's not. Bob is very stressed out. Bob's inner ego tells him to keep going- he will find happiness, but only if he works harder. So Bob works hard throughout college, to get a "good job" that will make him happy. He rarely dates, or spends time with friends. He passes up opportunities to go to parties because he wants to stay home and study.
Eventually Bob graduates college, which does not reduce his stress. He get's a job interning at a local law firm. 20 years pass, in which Bob works tirelessly to become a firm partner. Bob would be happy then. Over the 20 years, Bob meets a woman who was looking for a husband. They are not particularly in love. Yet the marry, have two children, a big house, dog, and a cat.
Bob finally get's the partnership he had been wanting. Working hard for almost his entire life. Bob is 50 years old and utterly exhausted. And Bob Is Not Happy. He is far from happy. Deep down, Bob wonders what happened to his life. He wonder's why he is not happy. Bob goes through a midlife crisis, in which he quits his job, starts riding motorcycles, and decides he wants to fix cars the rest of his life.
Let's be frank here- I don't want to be like Bob. Is this the American....or Western Illusion? There are still signs of villages of people in the Amazon still un-connected with the modern world. To them, life is about hunting, society and rank among your peers. It's so similar, yet different.
What if I wanted to hunt something different then? Instead of hunting money, fame, power....what if I wanted to hunt life? Where would I find it? I'm sick and tired of trying to compare myself to others, feel I need to stand up to some sort of illusionary standard. I am deeply blessed in the life I have been given yet I do not feel it's the life I should be living. Dear lord. I need to get away.
Imagine Bob, a 17 year old male who was raised to focus on grades so he can grow up and get a good job. He believes that if he gets good grades, he will finally be happy. Bob works hard everyday, spends little time on personal activities and works hard to maintain a 4.0 GPA. He graduates high school with few friends but praise from teachers- he is named class valedictorian, and get's accepted to his favorite college. This is where Bob thinks he will be happy- but he's not. Bob is very stressed out. Bob's inner ego tells him to keep going- he will find happiness, but only if he works harder. So Bob works hard throughout college, to get a "good job" that will make him happy. He rarely dates, or spends time with friends. He passes up opportunities to go to parties because he wants to stay home and study.
Eventually Bob graduates college, which does not reduce his stress. He get's a job interning at a local law firm. 20 years pass, in which Bob works tirelessly to become a firm partner. Bob would be happy then. Over the 20 years, Bob meets a woman who was looking for a husband. They are not particularly in love. Yet the marry, have two children, a big house, dog, and a cat.
Bob finally get's the partnership he had been wanting. Working hard for almost his entire life. Bob is 50 years old and utterly exhausted. And Bob Is Not Happy. He is far from happy. Deep down, Bob wonders what happened to his life. He wonder's why he is not happy. Bob goes through a midlife crisis, in which he quits his job, starts riding motorcycles, and decides he wants to fix cars the rest of his life.
Let's be frank here- I don't want to be like Bob. Is this the American....or Western Illusion? There are still signs of villages of people in the Amazon still un-connected with the modern world. To them, life is about hunting, society and rank among your peers. It's so similar, yet different.
What if I wanted to hunt something different then? Instead of hunting money, fame, power....what if I wanted to hunt life? Where would I find it? I'm sick and tired of trying to compare myself to others, feel I need to stand up to some sort of illusionary standard. I am deeply blessed in the life I have been given yet I do not feel it's the life I should be living. Dear lord. I need to get away.
Book O' The Week
Today I finished one of the great Neil Gaiman's books entitled, Anansi Boys. This was published in 2005 and finally made it's way into my hands in Summer 2008. I have been a huge fan of Gaiman's and this book definetly didn't dissapoint. I read it in about three days, most of which laying out in my backyard, being constantly aware of the spiders in the grass and around my yard. Gaiman described in one part of the story about an Army of spiders of all shapes and sizes. Neverbefore then did I realize how much I really do hate spiders. But it was a great book. Basically the ultimate folk-legend adult tale book.
Now I'm working on Gaiman's short stories entitled Fragile Things.
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